Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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