i just made my gag reflex go away.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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