I got chris browned last night
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize