Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
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I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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