Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize