just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize