oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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