last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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