put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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