A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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