hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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