just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
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I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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