I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize