with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize