I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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