All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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