it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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