I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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