How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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