I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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