So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
thus making me awesome and them whores
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
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how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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