I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize