cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
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girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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