btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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