i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
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Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
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we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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