And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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