I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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