The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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