sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
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Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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