Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.

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(248): did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there. http://tfl.nu/0o4m

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(303): View more from Colorado

I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality

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(303): I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality http://tfl.nu/hof4

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(248): View more from Michigan

yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)

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(248): yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did) http://tfl.nu/wp6c

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw

(281): View more from Texas

I love Texas.

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(832): Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw (281): I love Texas. http://tfl.nu/eppv

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(727): View more from Florida

if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.

(1-727): View more from Florida

Lol welcome to greek life

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(727): if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now. (1-727): Lol welcome to greek life http://tfl.nu/i7uo

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.

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(203): The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake. http://tfl.nu/g05l

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.

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(201): He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty. http://tfl.nu/jiec

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(256): View more from Alabama

Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.

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(256): Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO. http://tfl.nu/k62i

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(256): View more from Alabama

Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.

(662): View more from Mississippi

Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?

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(256): Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August. (662): Dude, how the hell did you become an RA? http://tfl.nu/0n3i

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(565): View more from

It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.

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(565): It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/u0lc

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here

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(401): Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here http://tfl.nu/3omi

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.

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(314): I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think. http://tfl.nu/izcd

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(563): View more from Iowa

Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.

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(563): Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit. http://tfl.nu/it5v

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(520): View more from Arizona

Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.

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(520): Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it. http://tfl.nu/2ax3

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(276): View more from Virginia

Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!

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(276): Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?! http://tfl.nu/n7jl

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