can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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