I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize