they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize