Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
either way he was missing a nipple.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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