census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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