Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize