I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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