How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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