I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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