Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
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Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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