This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Vodka?
Forever.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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