Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
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i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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