I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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