you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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