My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Drake has all the answers
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How does it feel to date your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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