so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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