Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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