like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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