Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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