there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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